My friend, ***** and I had known each other since school, and we shared a common interest in birding. Our other ***** was
golf, and we played most weekends. On the day in question, we were joined by two strange
old *****, Wing-commander Ernest Smythe (Red to his friends), and an elderly German,
Ronald Gustav Haufman (Ron to his). The rather **** ***** was famous for his bizarre dress
sense and today looked a ********** black galoshes, ********** and ********, indeed
something like a giant golfing wasp.
Rob's wife
Williamina (Bill to her friends), had joined us. She does not play golf, but likes to walk
the course, and is certainly pretty to look at. Her hair is ********** of blue (and as Rob
says 'Parus Major's).
This particular
Saturday was the 20th anniversary of the club which was covered in ******* *******. We
stood on the porch leaning against the hand ****, and admiring the view, until we were
able to take our **** at the first tee. I was about to address my ball when someone said
why not let ********. Ernest made a great beginning with a ****** on the first, an *****
on the fourth, and nearly made an ********* on the fifth. This all seems very easy to me,
he said. His comments rather made me *****, but on the same hole my approach shot landed
very near the ******* end charley was Ronald who was having a trying day. Hardly ever
teeing off well, and landing in the **** on many occasions. Even worse on the 6th he was
in the water. Ronald leapt in to get the ball and in the end we had to get a ***** to
recover him. Despite this he remained good humoured and was in any case rarely one to
******. The amphibious helper turned out to be a fine fellow from Yorkshire. The *****
******** *****, was given a lift back to the clubhouse by the course owner, and we all
helped dry our friend off. He was blue with cold, what you might call a ****** *****.
Anyway it was a bit cold for a ****** not exactly bathwater what!
Before the return
9, we stopped for a picnic. It looked very appetising, but I could not find a knife to
spread the ***** pate. Williamina was hunting for one for me, but I had an idea, and said,
**** to worry, I will just use a *********. The pate did not last long, and when I was
just enjoying the last little ******* said he wanted some more. Luckily the hamper also
contained other delicacies including several kinds of shellfish - I could not reach from
my comfortable perch on a golf bag, and Bill was taking no notice of our predicament. Ron,
I would like to try an ************* attention for me, would you? There was some bread
that needed cutting ready to make a ******** **** out the hamper will you and see if you
can find a *********. I'm too old to ******* large chunks of bread.
Our picnic site
turned out to be in the firing line for the 10th, with balls flying overhead. This made me
see ******* commander Smythe shouted ********* or it will have your head off. A ball
landed in Rob's ******* commander Smythe shouted something rather obscene, and we decided
it was time to move on.
On the 14th tee I
noticed that Ron was using one of my irons. I could tell because his has a ********
whereas mine has a **********. This made me rather ********* thought I was making a fuss
about nothing, and said I was a bit of a *****, but then, she does tend to ***** at anyone
who annoys her. I was wondering who might ******* during our meal suggested that Ernest
would easily. We were rather a slow party on the remainder of the course and the long walk
had most of us ******, particularly the last uphill section back to the 19th hole. I
supposed it was time to say good ******** of ale suggested Rob. Like some beer?, yes I
********, and with that we wended our merry ways.
